How To Conquer Destructive Thoughts

picture of woman with book on head - tired and stressed with critical / destructive thoughts

If you follow me, you’ll know that I am passionate about being conscious and having a greater sense of ‘self.’ Both in your personal and professional life. And how being conscious of yourself in one – means being conscious in the other. So today I want to talk about being conscious of how we think – and how we can conquer destructive thoughts.


Living & Working Holistically 

If you’ve seen the interview I did with Matt Quigley, he talked about how all well and good having success in business, but if you don’t have personal success with yourself – your business ultimately has no chance.

image of a cup of coffee and a notebook - symbolising work life balance and working holistically

But if you are successful with yourself, success in business will come as a by-product.

This is working holistically. Making sure that you take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow – including success in business.


Take Care of You

This is why I think entrepreneurs have to be so, so conscious of themselves. If you aren’t self-aware and take the time to reflect, it’s very easy to miss things that are holding you back.

photo of feet popping out the end of a bed - discussing self care and wellness in looking after yourself in business

Working on yourself is key if you want to be successful. If you don’t have confidence in you alone – how are you going to have confidence in you as a business person? A manager? A salesperson?

It all starts with you.


The Critical Voices

woman at laptop with her head in her hands - critical / destructive thoughts We all have those negative thoughts. The critical voice in our head that tells us we aren’t good enough.

For me it might pop up when I’m about to go on stage to do a talk. And all of a sudden my brain starts saying: You’re gonna fuck up here. The crowd’s gonna hate you. You’re gonna make a complete fool of yourself.

It’s that inner destructive thought and voice that sometimes comes out of nowhere. Judging you relentlessly and giving you the worst possible outcome for things – that’s not even realistic half the time.


It’s Universal

But you know what, I think that’s just normal. I think everyone has those voices. And the biggest thing for me in addressing them was realising that. Everyone has them.

photo of a blurred crowd - showing that everyone experiences the same critical or destructive thoughts

And it comes in different forms for everyone. For someone else, it might be Yes, I know you have studied all week but you are *definitely* going to fail this test.

Or…you want to eat that brownie…you want to eat all of those brownies…go on…do it…

We all have those destructive thoughts inside our heads. But very few of us know how to deal with it.


My Trick

So, I’ve mentioned this briefly before in my blog. My technique for banishing those voices.

 So, I know it might sound crazy at first…but when I have those thoughts, straight away, I get up and stand in the mirror. I say; “Don’t you fucking dare say that again.”

young man looking into mirror

And I say it so aggressively that I intimidate the voice into submission. I fight it, and I win.

So if the thought was you’re going to fuck up on stage…I’ll say: “you’re gonna nail this on stage.”

People aren’t gonna like you…I say: “People are gonna love you.

image of a round mirror

It’s just this aggressive assertiveness I put out there when doing it.

And of course, I laugh at it, because it is a little “weird” some might think. But who cares? It works.

It’s so effective. And that’s the thing.


Confident vs Insecure

I’ve heard a lot of people say that they have this inner fight. A fight between the strong side and the weaker side within them.image of woman looking in the mirror - learning to conquer destructive thoughts

And I actually think that what this practice does is take that fight out from the inside and brings it into the real world so you can face it and conquer those destructive thoughts that plague you.

For me it’s been really beneficial. I’ve gotten on top of a lot of those demons doing this. Which means – I’m winning the fight. And surely if so many people struggle with this – that must mean something.businessman sitting at laptop with hands raised looking happy

This platform is all about sharing what I’ve found value in for myself, in the hopes that others can find value from it, too.

So hell, if fighting with myself in a mirror works for me…it might work for you, too. Who knows?

Give it a try. It might work.

And if you’ve any funny experiences like someone walking in on you mid mirror-stand-off – let me know, cause I’d love to hear about it!