Today I want to talk about something that’s so important: how to build confidence in yourself. It’s something I don’t feel is spoken about enough by entrepreneurs, but can make all the difference to your business success.
So, why is it so critical that you build confidence in yourself? Well to hazard a guess, I think it could be because people are often so keen to present the ‘best’ version of themselves. And they think to achieve that, they can’t open up and be vulnerable.
But I firmly believe that the more we open up and share, the more we help others. And the better it will be for everyone, not just entrepreneurs.
The most confident people are authentic – and that’s why they’re such great role models.
Now, let’s be real here. The entrepreneurial journey is incredibly challenging. To the point where it can be hard to keep pushing on sometimes. It can be all too easy to lose faith if you’re not looking at things in the right perspective and enjoying the journey for what it is.
And it’s a fast-track way to lose your motivation and give up.
So if you haven’t built up confidence in yourself, then you haven’t built up your tolerance to take all those challenges that will come your way. You’re just going to get bowled over when they come at you…and believe me, they will come.
But I don’t want that to be something you fear. Instead, I want it to be something you’re ready for; something you can really grow and learn from.
Having confidence in yourself is essentially one’s belief in their own abilities. It’s the core belief in yourself as a capable adult and in your ability to pursue whatever it is you want to do.
It’s easy to assume that some people just ‘have’ confidence and that it comes easily, but it’s simply not true. Confidence is built. It’s grown, harvested, and thrives in environments where the best version of yourself is fed back to you.
It takes work, but the great thing is that if you’re willing to put that work in then you can be one of those people who oozes confidence too.
Here are some go-to hacks if you want to build confidence in yourself.
Challenging yourself doesn’t have to be something massive. You can start with some really small things such as making your bed in the morning, if this is something you tend to avoid. In fact, there’s a great piece from a U.S. Navy Admiral about the value of accomplishing the seemingly insignificant task of making your bed in the morning:
Other options are things like having a cold shower, or jumping in the sea. This process is amazing for your body and teaches you that, yes, you might be uncomfortable in the freezing cold water – but it’s not going to kill you.
You can be uncomfortable and still be ok. Over time, you’ll learn to tolerate it and you’ll enter the water with so much more confidence than before.
Try something small that pushes you just that little bit and see what happens.
The biggest reason so many have confidence issues is in fact that little voice in their heads telling them they can’t do something.
So one of my top pieces of advice is to challenge your inner critic.
There is a lot of discussion at the moment around the ‘critical voices’ we hear in our heads. When it really gets going, the endless loop can spit out some really horrible stuff. Even the most seemingly confident people experience it – it’s normal.
But boy, it’s destructive.
And it’s the same tape: it tells us that what we’re doing is not good enough, that we’re not good enough, that we won’t succeed, that we should give up…and so on. You get the jist.
Some schools of thought call them NATs: Negative Automatic Thoughts. And there’s no rhyme or reason to them intellectually – they just happen, sort of like brain farts. They don’t mean anything.
So, when I hear a thought like this run through my head – I stop, look in the mirror and say “Why are you saying that to me? What will I gain if I believe what this voice is saying?”
And the answer is always nothing. If anything, I stand to lose a lot more than I do to gain. So when I flip it, I realise this is going to hold me back from a myriad of things. There is no way I’m going to listen to that little monster in my brain.
So, whenever you hear that voice pop up, stop and have a conversation with it. Listen to it, acknowledge it, and then ignore it. There’s more power to you if you can push it aside and go running towards whatever it is that it’s trying to stop you doing anyway.
My third piece of advice for building up your confidence is to help others when you can. We all need a helping hand at times, so taking time to help someone who needs it can really transform their day.
So much of the time, others recognise your value more than you do. This is why opening yourself up to the world and seeing what you can do to help others can really allow you to build confidence in yourself. Put it out there that if anybody is looking for a hand with anything, you want to help. And I bet you somebody will come back and say “Hey, yeah, actually there is this one thing…”
If you’re doing a good job and actually put your heart and soul into it, then I’ll bet that they will turn around and appreciate, respect and commend you. And this will reflect your worth back unto yourself as a result. There’s value in yourself that you might not realise, perhaps you’ve forgotten (usually thanks to that little critical voice I mentioned earlier).
This tip should actually come pretty naturally to you if you’re in the coaching field or in a caring or advisory role. After all, it’s what you do best!
Confidence can come from knowing that you helped somebody through something, or that they achieved something, or that your advice made them take positive action. Whatever it may be, the likelihood is that through this act of kindness, you will be reassured that you are in fact valuable, capable, strong and worth believing in yourself.
Hold onto that thought because it’s true. It will lift your spirits and help you realise that “Hey, if this person believes in me, then maybe I should, too.”
These are all small things you can do to challenge yourself and build your confidence over time. The more you do them, the more you’ll trust yourself and know you can take on whatever challenges come your way.
The key thing I want you to take away here is that, if you’re serious about the entrepreneurial journey, you need to get serious about working on yourself. If you’ve an issue with confidence – focus on that and start tackling it, little by little.
Because you can change things. Search for the things that you know you need to build that confidence up – and invest in yourself. And remember, I’m here to help you build confidence too! Get in touch and let’s chat about how we can get you to the most confident version of yourself you’ve ever been.
You’re worth it.